The erotica phrases that make you laugh

At the recent Romance Writers' (RWNZ) conference, we had an excellent workshop on what to avoid when writing erotic fiction (presented by Susan Napier). We were all in stitches... and yet most of us had to plead guilty to authoring at least one of the "love to hate" phrases.

My favourites included:

• his manhood
• his member
• his throbbing lance
• her rose petals
• he pinched her nipples (er, you realise, that's a favourite as in "love to hate", not something I'd like to see on the bedroom menu)
• she moaned softly (I always imagine this followed by a dialogue line: "You forgot to take out the garbage again!")

There were many, many more, but I didn't write them down, for the fear they would stick in my mind and beg to be used.